Disarm with Humour, Lead with Grace

A note to young leaders.

When someone attacks you, the temptation is to strike back. To fight arms with arms.

But far better is to disarm – and there’s nothing more disarming than humour, especially of the self-deprecating kind.

When Abraham Lincoln was campaigning in 1858 against Senator Stephen A. Douglas, the attacks turned personal. Douglas, during one of the debates, accused Lincoln of being “a two-faced man.”

Lincoln, without missing a beat, turned to the crowd and said: “Ladies and gentlemen, I leave it for you to decide. If I had another face, do you really think I’d be wearing this one?”

The audience erupted with laughter. The insult fell flat. Douglas came off as petty. Lincoln came off as quick-witted and self-assured.

When baited, don’t bite. Smile, don’t scowl. Show them that their insult is so off the mark that it doesn’t even warrant a serious response.

Laugh with your enemy, not at them … nothing will infuriate them more.