First the Feather: A Lesson in Leadership Power

A note to young leaders.

In my mid-twenties, I was angry and disappointed with a colleague that I felt had let me down by not putting in the necessary effort ahead of a major pitch.

My father overheard me speaking to my colleague on the phone. I was intense, clear and firm about what was at stake and why I expected better next time.

The call ended happily enough and I got off the call feeling pretty good about myself. But my father was not so impressed.

“Shway, shway” (Arabic for “little by little”), he said. “First the feather, then the needle, then the hammer.”

He smiled and let that sink in.

I must have looked puzzled because he elaborated: “The order is important. If you start with the hammer, you’ll never know whether the feather could have done the job with far less damage.”

Leaders have some power. But power is a blunt instrument and should be used sparingly – and even then, softly at first. If softly fails, then gradually apply more pressure until the message has been received.

Force has far greater legitimacy and effect when it’s preceded by gentler methods.