It’s Not the Hours, It’s How You Make People Feel

Lessons from my father.

When I was in my late teens, I said rather casually about a guest who had just left our house: “That guy is a workaholic.”

Dad pulled me aside and said: “Son, it’s not for you to judge whether someone is a workaholic or not. It’s for his wife and children and his close friends to make that judgement.”

He went on to say that workaholism is less about the number of hours you work – and more about whether the people you care about feel like you’re giving them the time and attention they need and want.

“Making people feel heard and appreciated is not primarily a function of the time you spend with them. That’s a common misconception. Putting your arm around someone when you come home, giving them eye contact with a smile or leaving them a thoughtful note before you leave will often make people feel more connected to you than hours of disengaged contact at home.”

It’s not the hours that matter. It’s the way you make people feel.