It’s Not What You Say, But How You Say It

A note to young professionals.

There’s a rule in communication theory known as the 7-38-55 rule.

The rule states that only 7% of meaning is communicated by the spoken word, 38% through tone of voice, and 55% through body language.

If you’re finding that hard to believe, try this simple exercise. Say the following sentence out loud – “I never said you did that” – and see how much its meaning changes depending on which word is emphasised.

Emphasise the word “I”, then repeat the sentence while emphasising the word “never”, and so on.

If emphasis alone can dramatically change the meaning of a sentence, how much more your tone of voice and facial expressions.

Words are processed by the frontal lobe. Tone of voice and body language speak directly to our emotions, our lizard brain.

You can tell someone to bugger off, with a smile and a twinkle in your eyes, and leave them feeling good about it.

And you can also praise someone in a perfunctory or dismissive way and leave them feeling deflated.

Focus less on the content of your message. Focus more on its delivery.

Everything is alright if it’s properly expressed.