Funerals and the Emotions We Bury

A note to young leaders.

I attended a funeral last week.

It reminded me that funerals are as much a catharsis for the living, as they are a farewell to the dead.

Most of the tears shed at funerals are not, in truth, for the departed – only the tears of their immediate family and closest friends.

As for the rest of us? We’re often crying our uncried tears.

Tears for the parent or friend we’ve recently lost, or fear we may lose. Tears for the unresolved, unspoken, unlived parts of our lives.

We cry also for the traumas, losses and unhealed wounds we’ve lacked either the time or the courage to integrate.

Thank goodness for funerals and for the sanctuary they provide for us to come to terms with the buried parts of ourselves.

But don’t wait for a funeral to exhume your emotions. Create space for your inner life.

Usher your shadows into the light. Make conscious what is unconscious.