Leading with Forgiveness: Focus on Patterns, Not One-Offs

Other than in the case of unethical or highly inappropriate behaviour – resist the temptation to respond to isolated incidents, even when disaffected colleagues are urging action.

A surprising number of problems disappear all by themselves.

We are all entitled to have a bad day once in a while. When our colleagues make a grumpy or tactless remark, the situation doesn’t require fixing. It just requires forgiveness.

And we should be quick to forgive, because we too have bad days and require forgiveness.

Action is required only if the conduct repeats. It’s the pattern that requires your attention.

Your job as leader is to forgive the one-off, and focus instead on finding and breaking dysfunctional patterns.